A note for my little girl on her 3rd birthday!!!

Dear My Sweet Emma,

Today marks three years since you blessed us with your birth. You where born at 8:43pm and weighed 5lbs 2oz and where 17 1/4 inches long. Although you came 7 1/2 weeks early and we where scared to death that it "was just too soon", you where absolutely beautiful. I will never forget the first time I saw you and got to hold you tiny little hand, you where just absolutely perfect... I guess I need to back up and tell you why you graced our presents so early...

I was in the hospital for a routine 24hour check (because I got really sick with your Bubba) and when my day shift nurse was leaving for the day she checked all my vitals and your heart rate. At first she thought she was getting both our hearts on your little monitor, but that was not the case. Your heart rate was up over 300 (that is as high as the machine would go) and before I knew it I had 2 doctors, 5 nurses a ultra sound tech and a surgical nurse all prepping me for your delivery via c-section. I still remember it like it was yesterday, the nurse's running down the hall pushing me into the OR and your Daddy telling your Maw Maw that "everything is going to be fine". Twenty minutes later I gave birth to a beautiful blonde haired (well, what you had) blue eyed tiny little girl and she was perfect...

Four days after you where born is when ALL the fun started... Because of your heart rate the doctors decided to send you for a couple test on your heart. We found out July 1st that you where born with multiple heart defects. You where diagnosed with Corrected Transposition of the great arteries, VSD (hole in your heart), Pulmonary Stenosis, Sub- Pulmonary Stenosis, SVT, WPW and an Abnormal Tricuspid valve with some regurgitation (later on we found out that you where in the very beginning stages of heart failure). I was scared to death and felt like all the oxygen in the room was sucked out when the doctor told us. I remember I just sat there in the rocking chair next to your bed and just stared at you while I was holding your tiny little hand. I heard every word that the doctor said, I just didn't want to believe it... I later went into the dressing room after our visit with you (I had to take off the hospital gown) and totally lost it, I fell back against the wall (thank God it was there to catch me) and just bawled. At the time I was soooo scared that we where going to lose you and I didn't have the courage to ask if you where going to make it or not.

Considering all your problems you where doing REALLY well. Of course you had the normal breathing and feeding issues for a baby as early as you where, but you looked really good. When you where about a week old you started vomiting and couldn't hold anything down, they decided to do an abdominal x-ray and some more blood work and found out that you had what they called NEC (Necrotizing Enterocolitis), you where becoming really sick, really fast. Later the decision was made to transfer you to Texas Children's Hospital due to your heart condition and now this NEC thing.

When we got to TCH the Dr's there ran a bunch more of their own test and came to the same conclusion as the Dr's at Memorial City Hospital where you where born... Over time you started to get a little bigger and where doing OK (you still vomited often), but we where told that was due to acid reflux. Two and a half months after you where born we FINALLY got to take you HOME. You did come home on a feeding tube and ALOT of medications (About 6), but you where doing better. After about a week at home you started vomiting again (and alot), so off we go back to TCH emergency room with you. The ER ran some really yucky test and come to find out you had multiple bowel obstructions and where going to require surgery to remove them. On August 31st we had to hand over our beautiful little girl to a team of dr's and nurses to preform a difficult surgery on you. They ended up having to take out a part of you bowel and your appendix due to all the scaring and obstructions from the NEC. After just a day you got the feeding tube taken out and never had one again. You where doing perfect and it seemed as though this surgery made everything right in your little body, You where finally able to eat and gain weight. Two weeks after surgery we got to take you home for the second time and what a blessing it was. When we got you home, you where just like any other baby your age, you loved to play, eat, all the things a baby loves to do. You never acted like you had any kind of heart condition or had just had surgery a few weeks before. Everything was finally perfect, everyone was healthy, happy and HOME!!!

You have been doing soooooo GREAT, you amaze everyone that knows you and knows what you have been through. There have been other hospital visits due to your heart rate and very scary moments when the crash cart was grabbed for you, but you are such a strong little girl and are such a blessing and amazement. I know that down the road you are going to need multiple open heart surgeries, but for now we will not worry about that, for now we are going to enjoy every moment and every day with you and worry about the other stuff later.

My sweet little girl never forget where you have come from and how far you have come. I always want you to take your story with you. I think it makes you the strong little girl you are. I also think that God gave YOU this special heart to teach you and others to cherish the small things in life and that no matter what life throws at you, you can always take your own path to get around it... I love you sweet girl, more than you will ever know. I know you will not read this probably for a very long time, but I want you to have your first couple chapters of life. I know there are more chapters still to write, but I also know that they will be just as amazing as the first three...

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!!!

Love Always And Forever,

Your Mommy
xoxoxoxo

Birthday's, Birthday's Every Where!!!

Wow, one of these day's I am going to get better at this whole blog thing, but for now let me tell you about what has been going on...

We just celebrated Katelyn's 8th birthday this past weekend and she did not want a party this year, she wanted to have dinner and the Houston Downtown Aquarium. We had an awesome time and I think all the kids had fun eating with all the fish around them. Then Sunday we went over to Non and Grans for fathers day and had a little family party there with the rest of our family. It was such and awesome weekend, I just wished it could of lasted a little longer... Sorry the picture is blurry, it was dark inside and I took it with my phone, my camera decided to poop out on me at dinner!!!

This coming up weekend is Emma and Non's (Josh's Mom) birthday on Sunday. We are planning on going to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate, but Emma still wanted to have a tinker bell party so I will just decorate everything there with Tinker Bell. I can not believe that my baby girl is going to be three... It seems like just yesterday I had her and was traveling back and forth to the hospital (or not leaving at all) to see her. She was there for 3 1/2 months and sometimes I feel so cheated of that important time with her, but I thank God every day that we live in a place with such a great hospital and doctors. With out all of the medical staff, our prayer warriors and Most of all God, I don't think our precious Emma would be here with us today... She is such a miracle and amazes me every day. She has come such a long way from the days in the hospital when we where praying to God not to take her, we need more time with this little girl. Now I am praying to God to give me the strength and energy to keep up with her and I am soooo thankful for that. She does still have a long way to go and many surgeries in her future, but she is a fighter and such a strong little thing, I know she can make it through anything with the grace and help of God...

Emma did just have her first BIG ballet recital and she did awesome. They danced to three different songs "L.O.V.E", "In my daughters eyes" and "I can't help falling in love". I was afraid that she was going to get stage fright like she did and Christmas and just stand there, but she didn't, she danced to every song and looked like she had been doing it for ever,(she even sang all the words to the songs as she was dancing). The recital was held in a huge High School auditorium and was a totally amazing production for a bunch of 2-5 year olds, I can't wait till next year...

My little man Nickolas is getting bigger and smarter every day. He is doing so much better on his talking, you can understand almost EVERYTHING that he says now (unless he is playing and wants to talk funny). He is such a ball of energy and is constantly on the GO, I don't think he ever stops unless he is eating, sleeping or something on TV catches his eye (and sometimes not even then,lol). He is such a sweet little boy and makes my day every morning when he gets up and tells me "Good morning Mommy, I love you, did you have sweet dreams?". He tells me all the time now that I am the best Mommy in the whole world and that I am his best friend. I hope it stays that way even when he is all grown up, he makes my heart smile when he says stuff like that, I could just eat him up... He is getting to be such a handsome little man, I think I am going to have to beat all the little girls off with a stick when he gets older... I am such a lucky women, God has blessed me with such beautiful and sweet children (well sweet most of the time, they still have their moments, as do us all).

As for me and Josh, it is pretty much the same ol' same ol'... I am still staying at home with the kids and doing all the daily house and kid stuff and Josh is still working nights at the same company he's been with for the last few years. Unfortunately his hours have got cut back to 32 hours do to the oil spill in the Gulf and our president stopping all new oil drilling (oh, for some of y'all that don't know, Josh is working in the welding business, they weld big parts for oil companies and alot of though's parts go out to rigs in the gulf). So we are just praying for the work to pick up and that he will start getting more hours soon... I have thought about going back to work, (prob in home health care again), but I would be working just to put two kids in daycare and that is just not a smart idea right now... So for now we just tighten down our belts for awhile, do what we gotta do and pray that the work picks up soon...

So that is what my little family has been up to, nothing glamorous, but we like it and are very happy to be in the place that we are in right now... I do have one request for everyone that is reading this... Please continue to pray for Emma, I know it sounds crazy, but I hope they decide to do her surgery sooner than later... I think that the older she gets the harder it will be on her and the more she will remember... We know with out a doubt she will have to have this done, so I would rather he have it done while she won't remember to much. I am also going to ask that you pray for Josh's work and that business picks up soon, we are doing ok finacally right now, but if it keeps going like this or if he loses anymore hours I am not sure how it will affect us. Thank you so much for keeping up with my family, I know I am not the best blogger, but I try and I promise I am going to write another post on Sunday for my Emma, I will just be something for her 3rd birthday and just reflecting where we are and how far we have come...

Lots of heart hugs and God Bless...

Samantha xoxoxo

Update on Emma!!!

I got a call today from Emma's cardiologist telling me that he and her heart surgeon where reviewing some cases and hers was one of the cases they went over. They decided that at her next appointment (this Thursday) they wanted to get a detailed echo of her heart and some other minor test to see if anything had changed or if everything was still the same. They think that she is about at the age that it might be time to start her surgical process again. Of course the echo, x-ray and EKG won't hurt her, but I am not looking forward to the lab work they are going to have to do and I definitely know she is not going to like it at all.

She has been doing really good other than she is still getting tired when she is playing and not wanting to eat very much (she has been holding around the same weight for a while now, between 28-30lbs). We knew that the day was coming when we where going to be talking about surgery again, but as a Mommy you always hold out hope for no surgery at all. We have been blessed with so many miracles with her, that I feel a little selfish asking God for another one, "Dear God, please see this beautiful and perfect little girl through this. Hold her hand through the scary times when I am not able to be by her side and give her the comfort and strength to get through whatever path you have made for her". I know we do not know if she will have surgery yet, but I do know that one day, weather it be in a few months or a few years, she will need to have this done...

I am not sure if everyone knows still what Emma's actual heart problems are, so I am going to post them and explain a little more about them...

*One of her main diagnosis is Corrected Transposition of the great arteries, meaning, that her bottom two chambers switched position when they where being developed in utero. Her blood flow is flowing in the right direction, but do to the ventricles doing the others job, it puts higher pressure and stress on the left ventricle.

*Because of the extra stress put on the heart she is in the beginning stages of heart failure, witch does not mean that her heart is going to give out, it just means that it is a little enlarged and works harder than it should. Over time though if left un-treated it could cause other major problems, so she is on medication to slow the progression down.

*There is also a hole between the bottom two chambers called a VSD, which actually helps her blood flow due to the anatomy of her heart.

*She has what is called WPW with SVT, witch is basically a rhythm problem with her heart. In Emma's case her heart can beat up to 280 beats per minute if she has an SVT episode. Thankfully she has not had an SVT episode in a very long time, so we are hoping she is out growing it or her medication is working wonders for her.

*Lastly she has an abnormal tricuspid valve that has some mild leakage and some narrowing of her pulmonary artery called pulmonary stenosis.

I know it sounds like allot and a little overwhelming, trust me I have been there, but I promise you she is doing amazingly well and will keep doing it that way. She is such a little fighter and strong little girl, but most of all she is our little miracle and true blessing. I have learned so much about life through this one little girl. I have learned to be patient and to give my problems and worries over to God more and know that he is truly and AMAZING GOD. I will keep learning everyday from her and my other little miracles, just as I have done since the day they where born.

As I went through today I couldn't help but worry more and more about what they might say at Emma's next doctors appointment; so as I was checking my daily e-mail I felt the need to say a prayer her and me. While I was praying for the strength and comfort during this little bump in our road these words where put on my heart and in my mind and I really wanted to share them with you, "Why is it that we stress and worry over the things we can not change? No matter how hard we try there will always be difficulties and obstacles in our way, we just have to learn to take life's detours and to jump the hurdles (no matter how high they are), but always remember that God will be there to show us the best way and to carry us over any of life's hurdles". I truly believe that God put these words on my heart to really remember that he will get us through this and that he knows the best path for us to take even if we don't see it right now...

I am sorry that this is so long and if I am rambling and not making much sense through most of this post. I just felt the need to explain a little more about Emma's heart condition. I think I just always say "Emma's issues" or "Emma's heart problems" but I don't really thing I have explained exactly what her "issues" are. I do hope this give everyone a little better insight into the the happenings of Emma's heart. I know some things are still a little confusing, but hey, I am still confused some days, lol.

Please keep her in your prayers this week and I promise to update everyone Thursday after we get home from a long day at the doctors office...

As all way hugs, kisses and lots of love to everyone and thank you so much for checking in on us and your continued support and prayers...

It's Been A Long Time!!!

Wow, it has been a really long time since I have posted a blog (sorry about that), but I guess no news is good news. Lets see where do I start...

Well, Emma has been doing really well and we still have not had any hospital visits in a really long time (well over a year), we are still having issues with her not wanting to eat, but I really think that she is just being a difficult eater. She is still under weight, about 27lbs (she has been this weight for awhile now) and will be turning 3 in June... Unfortunately there is not much for us to do unless she stops eating all together and we do not want to go down that road at all; so for now we will just give her fatty stuff as much as we can and use supplements for the rest. We do have a cardiology appointment coming up on the 1st of April so we will find out more then, but I know she is doing amazingly... I do think here in the next year or so we will start the surgical process again (it could be sooner or later depending on how her heart function is), but we where told three is usually the magic number for all these wonderful kiddos... So for now we just wait, see and watch this amazing little girl grow...

As you my know my little man just turned four... I still can't get over how much he has matured in the last couple of months, he is talking so much better and seems to be getting out of that toddler stage and into that big boy stage. He tells me every day that he is big now and can do anything... Oh how I wish they could stay little forever... I could not be more excited to say that he is officially fully potty trained. I started to wonder if he was going to be wearing pull-ups to kindergarten, but one day he just decided to put on big boy pants and use the big potty (it was amazing,lol). He is doing so awesome in school (the two days a week him and Emma go), actually they just told me yesterday that he is doing so well that they moved him into the preschool class early (he was not suppose to go till August). Nickolas and I went to San Antonio this past weekend and had an awesome time together (since Emma graced us with her presence he has not had very many one on ones with Mommy), it was really good for the both of us to spend some quality time together. Let me just say that I am sooo proud of him, he had such a hard time with speech and stuff, but now you would never know...

Katelyn is also doing really well and getting to be such a little lady... Unfortunately we don't get to see her as often as we would like, but when we do we find out how much of an amazing little lady she is becoming. She is doing great in school and excels in all her classes. She is in that awkward stage, you know the one, the one where she wants to be a "big girl", but also wants to little. Bless her little heart, I wish I could make everything better for her, she is having a hard time not understanding why we can't all live together as one "big" family (her Daddy, me and her Mommy), I know I went through the same thing when I was little. It will just take some time and lots of love from us. She starts spring break next week and is very excited about having a week off and being able to play with her friends and maybe doing some fun stuff. I just can't believe that she is going to be eight in just a few short months...

As for me and Josh, it is just the same ol' same ol'. We are hoping that in the next couple of months he will be moving to days and leaving the night shift far behind. It will be such a blessing to have some what of a normal family life again. I know the kids truly enjoy when there Daddy is here to help put them to bed (Mommy enjoys having an extra set of hands). He has been on days for this week, but will be going back to nights next week, I have loved having him home in the evening and all of us being able to sit at the table and having a meal together, I forget how much I miss the little things when he is not here... Other than that we just go about our daily routines with nothing really new to report... I will try and update everyone after Emma's cardiology appointment on the 1st...

Thanks for checking up on us, lots of hugs and kisses... New pictures to coming soon!!!

ODDS AND ENDS....

Just wanted to share a few pictures of our ending days of summer and some other odds and ends of my wonderful kiddo's...

Nickolas and Emma taking a ride in the jeep (Yes he is driving a pick Jeep)...


Emma showing us her ballet moves....

Trying to hold her leg up, like the big girls do...

I just love this picture (don't know why)...

Nickolas and Emma ready for Kick off of the Texans game....

Wordless, she is just too cute...

Katelyn and Nickolas at Chuck E. Cheese...

All of my wonderful kids playing on the swing set...

We have had an amazing summer, I just wish we could have a few more summer days (but I am totally loving the cooler days and nights). I think we are all finally over all the little bugs and stuff that have been going around our home (thank God). Joshua has finally got back on his original work schedule (6pm- 6am), it is a big adjustment but all in all it is for the best, the kids get to see him a little more during week and he is also getting a little more over time which is really helpful, I just thank God that he has a job and that we are able to provide for our family, he always takes care of us... Any how, I have a few more pictures that I want to share with everyone I just have to find what I did with the disk, I have been a Little scatter brained lately. We love everyone and only hope that you are as blessed as our little family has been during these last five years of our marriage...

Bad Blogger...

OK so I am a really bad blogger lately, but I guess I can use the excuse that we have had ALOT going on lately... Well first, we took Nickolas to the Ortho dr. for his feet and found out that he might have some other issue going on developmentally and mentally. He was suppose to go to the Neurologist on the 11th but everyone was sick so we did not make it and as always we are waiting for a call and and a new opening for an appt. I have been really stressed and worried about what the dr might tell us, but then someone asked me if it would change anything and I had to say no... He will still be out sweet little boy no matter what some dr might say, he will always be our Nickolas, just as Emma has always been our Emma. I think God has given me some really special gifts, not only my husband and children, but he has taught be strong and patient. I have also learned to give my problems and worries to him, we are taught to let God do the warring for you. I think that is the hardest thing for me, just giving everything over to him, but I know that he will guide and help us through all our difficult times, he is always the light at the end of the tunnel... Sorry, didn't mean to get off subject... As for the rest of us, we have all been sick... Nickolas and I had a horrible stomach bug and them Emma got it, after we where all past that, we got another round of another bug. Last week I got sick again and found out that I had Pneumonia and now Josh has our stomach bug, God only hopes we don't get it back. We are all on the mend now and other than that there is not much to report... Emma is still loving ballet and is doing really well, pictures to come soon I hope. I will let you know more on Nickolas as soon as we go back to the doctor. I promise I will be a better blogger from now on, never mind I know I have said that before and as always my world gets a little crazy sometimes.... Love to all and may God bless your life as he has mine...

Getting to be a big girl...

We had Emma's 2 year check-up a few days ago and everything went really well. She weighed 27.6lbs and was 35in tall. I was so excited to hear her weight, she has gained 2lbs since we where at the cardiologist a few months ago. She didn't need any shots this time, thank god, It always worries me when she gets so upset and raises her heart rate...
Nickolas also when for his check-up and is 37lbs, he is getting to be such a big boy. They are both in the 90% in their height, Nickolas is also in the 90% for his weight, which the dr. said was really good. Emma is only in 50% for her weight which is really good for kids her age if she was a little shorter, I will take 50% (she has been in 25%), I am so proud of her, she just keeps fighting and getting bigger, everything she is suppose to do...

Emma also started to school with Nickolas two days a week. She did really well on her first day, she kissed me by and went off and played. When I got there to pick her and Nickolas up she was so excited, she had to show me the frog hat she made at school... She told me all about her numbers and letters and said that she had lots of fun playing at bubbas school today...

I have to share another cute Nickolas story with y'all... We where on our way home and it had started to rain...

Nickolas: "Mommy, it's raining"

Mommy: "Yep, it sure is"

Nickolas: "Mommy, where we get rain?"

Mommy: "Well, God makes the rain"

Nickolas: "Why?"

Mommy: "To make our flowers and trees grow pretty"

Nickolas: "Oh, Mommy, he is a good God"

I could not have said it better myself, sometimes it takes a three year old to remind us when we are having a bad day, that "He is a good God"...

Sorry this is such a long post, but was wondering if I could ask you to pray for a heart family... Their son Connie has the same problems as Emma and just got the news that he needs to have a heart transplant. Doing another surgery would put him to much at risk... They are praying for a better second opinion and that no transplant will be necessary...

Thank you so much for checking in on us, we love you and in the words of Nickolas, always remember, "He is a good God"...